have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
