so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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