i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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