if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
