You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
