Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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