tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
