In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
