already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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