Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
