"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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