sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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