The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
