Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize