Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
