Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
