garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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