Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
