I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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