dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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