Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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