Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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