God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
