I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
