Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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