I'm jealous of your bromance
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
