Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
