Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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