She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
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There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize