my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
