i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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