I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
