This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize