he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
