well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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