i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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