It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
