it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
