what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
