just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
