dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
