i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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