Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
