she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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