We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize