I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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