At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
