i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
