I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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