:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
