He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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