Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
