Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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