Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Everclear isn't food dammit
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize