she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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