just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
