What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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