There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
