p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
