i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think my moral compass just broke
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