He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
