the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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