Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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