i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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