What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
