What a fucking waste of an outfit
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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