Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
