so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
