Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
