dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
