what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
