btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
