8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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